Ansar and Sumera’s Fostering Story
Ansar and Sumera share how a chance encounter with a social worker led them to fostering, the joy of supporting children from diverse backgrounds, and how fostering has helped them build a loving, inclusive extended family.
Ramadan is here, so we sat down with Muslim foster parents Ansar and Sumera to learn more about their fostering journey. The couple, who have been fostering with ACS since 2013, share two children and currently foster three teenagers.
Join us as they reveal how a chance meeting with a social worker inspired them to foster, the joy of caring for children from diverse cultural backgrounds, and how fostering has helped them create a loving and inclusive extended family.
Want to know more?
Find out more about becoming a foster parent or take your first step to fostering and get in touch today - we'd love to hear from you.
The chance meeting that planted a seed
Sometimes, the inspiration to foster can come from unlikely places – this was the case for Ansar and Sumera. Before becoming foster parents, Ansar worked as a taxi driver. One day, during a routine shift, he met someone who'd change the course of the couple's life, he said: "I remember picking up a social worker.”
“She had a little child with her who was a completely different race. I remember asking if he was her son, just to make some small talk, and she said, 'No, I'm a social worker, but we can't find a foster family for this child, so I'm taking him back home with me.'"
"She was quite unhappy that they couldn't find a foster family for this child, and she asked me, 'Do you have children?' I said, 'No, we've been married for eight years, but we haven't been blessed with children yet. And she said, 'Well, why aren't you fostering?' And I was like, 'I've never really thought about it.'"
"That was the first conversation I had with a social worker. I had never really thought about fostering. In my mind, fostering was like adoption. She told me about the need in the community for foster carers from different backgrounds because there are a lot of children they want to place with people of the same religious or cultural identity."
"When she told me about that need, which I hadn't really known existed, I went back and spoke to Sumera."
Discovering the reality of fostering
After Ansar spoke to Sumera about fostering, the couple began looking into it but had many misconceptions about what it involved, Ansar said: "Both of us viewed fostering as a permanent thing, like adoption, and we were worried about not having the skills to foster. We spoke to my mum and dad and then went into the ACS office to talk to the team there.”
“I didn’t know any Asians, especially Muslims, who fostered. We'd never been around any fostering families. The lack of knowledge about fostering, especially in our cultural environment, was crazy. We used to hear comments like, 'If that kid hurts himself, you are going to be in court."
“When we visited the office, many different people were working there, including lots of Asian social workers. In the waiting area, there was a Muslim foster carer – who’s now a friend of ours – and I remember speaking to him and asking, 'How long have you been fostering?' He said, '20 years.'
That blew my mind. I couldn't believe that people had been doing this for so long when I wasn't even aware that this really happened. We had a two-hour conversation with someone at the office, and we were sold, but we still thought it was like a voluntary thing.”
"I remember him saying to us, ‘Should we talk about the money?’ We said, ‘No, we're okay. We've got money. We can look after this kid.’ He was like, ‘No, no, you get paid to do it. You get paid a certain amount to look after a child, and then you also get paid as a foster carer.’ I was like, ‘Okay, well, that’s a bonus. It’s something we didn’t expect, so it was a surprise.”
Rewards of the fostering journey
Ansar and Sumera have now been fostering for over ten years and shared their most rewarding experiences so far, Ansar said: “Sometimes, the rewards happen straightaway. I mean, some children settle in quickly and thank you for it because they've been in places where they've never felt like they fit in.”
“Then we've had other kids who've taken years to settle in. They try to sabotage the situation, waiting to see if you'll give up on them before they give you a chance. So you've got to get through that period, and sometimes, the rewards may not even come until they've moved on.”
“They may give you a call later and say, ‘Thank you very much for everything’ or even apologise for things that happened when they lived with you. We’ve had children who, years after leaving our care, ring us up and say, ‘I thought about you today because I remembered the conversation we had while we were playing PlayStation together.'
"Sometimes, they just call because they need someone to talk to, and we've always kept the door open for all of our children. They know they can always get away from their troubles and come back. It's lovely for us as well."
Sumera added: "I've had lots of rewarding moments in my life through fostering. One of the first was when a younger child called me 'Mom' – this was a proud moment for me. He respected me and always tried to help me. It was rewarding to see him use the good manners I was teaching him. Whenever we went somewhere, he’d say the greetings and was always polite.”
“The biggest reward is knowing they are learning something valuable from us. It makes us proud and feels amazing, especially when they pick up good manners and life skills from us.”
Building an extended family
Ansar and Sumera’s journey began with just the two of them, but over the past 12 years, their family has grown, and they keep in touch with many of the children they’ve cared for, Ansar said: “We've got this massive extended family with children from all different nationalities living all over the world, which is an amazing thing for us.”
“One of the things I'm really grateful for is that my children are growing up with kids from lots of different cultures. They see the challenges these children face, and growing up alongside them, they consider them all their brothers and sisters.”
“We've had loads of birthday parties, and all these children have turned up. It's just amazing to see them all grown up because you get flashbacks of the stuff they used to do. It’s beautiful to see them mature and become open to change.”
Sumera sees both her own children and those she fosters as her own, and treating them equally, is important to her, she said: “The first time I saw my foster daughter, she said, 'Auntie, your behaviour is exactly the same with me as it is with your own daughter.'”
“I said, ‘You’re my daughter too, so I’ll teach you the same things I teach my daughter. It’s not different for me. I don’t think of you as just my foster daughter and her as my real daughter. It doesn’t matter – you are both my daughters.’”
Ansar’s advice for prospective foster parents
Ansar shared some advice for anyone thinking about becoming a foster parent, he said: “I think your motivation has to be a genuine desire to care for these children.”
“It can't be something you're willing to give up on quickly. You have to remember that these children have often come from situations that are incredibly challenging. So, for them, when they come into a carer's home, it can be devastating if that carer gives up on them. That's why we've always fostered long-term. For us, fostering over the long term allows us to make a real difference in their lives.”
“Honestly, it's been brilliant. I couldn't recommend fostering enough. I think, if you have the right mind-set and temperament, fostering is one of the best jobs you can do. The real reward of fostering is not only the difference we make in these children's lives but also the difference it's made in our own lives.”
If you’ve been inspired by Ansar and Sumera’s fostering story and would like to learn more about faith-based foster care, please get in touch. Our knowledgeable and experienced team speaks over ten languages and is ready to provide the support you need to begin your fostering journey.
Can’t find what you’re looking for?
By Phone
One of our team is available to talk to you over the phone to answer any of your fostering queries.
By Email
You can get in touch by filling out our online enquiry form with any queries that you may have.
Visit an office
Active Care Solutions, 34-35 Pure Office, Broadwell Rd, Oldbury, B69 4BY